What Makes a Victim a Victim of Bullying?

I really can’t speak for a bully, or know what goes on inside their mind; I speak as the victim, for the victims.

I’ve lived an evasive, hidden life until about 2014. I have slowly been coming out of my shell and opening up about the subject of bullying since. What made that change was a personal development book called The Compound Effect that I first read in 2014. It delves into detail about the “why I do what I do,” and the bullying effect always kept coming back up on my list as the reason.

Today’s post is based on what I think made me susceptible to becoming a victim of bullying. After doing some research on the Internet and comparing notes to that and my experience, there seems to be an underlying factor of the feeling of the lack of self-worth after being told that I was worthless, that I would not amount to much, and getting physically hit by my father when I was a kid. And apparently that became evident on the outside because people could see I had changed. I went from being a happy, outgoing kid to a very depressed introvert. And it just got worse when I experienced my first bully.

So, what makes a victim a victim of bullying? For me, it was all about the outside appearance of myself and how I carried myself. I always had a problem with my weight and was constantly picked on about it at school. And when I got glasses, I was constantly called 4-eyes in 1st and 2nd grade. I never said anything to anyone, and I never stood up for myself. I always had my head hung down low, feeling so alone and never fitting in. I was basically a doormat since I was in 1st grade all the way through 9th grade, when I was there, that is. When the depression set in, my weight drastically changed like a yo-yo, and so did my moods. I was growing emotionally and physically weak, an open invitation to more bullies in middle school, so one day I said to hell with it and tried to end it from an overdose of speed. Twice.  And from there it all went downhill. I had gotten my stomach pumped and read my last rites on one occasion.


So, as you are reading this, you may be asking yourself why am I talking about myself? How is this going to help you? I write this today, hoping it reaches those who have been bullied, felt so alone, doesn’t fit in, and suicidal. You may feel no one cares. Know that I do. Cause I’ve been there, like you are now, or have been. Know that you are special – inside and out, no matter what size, race, sex, and religion you may be. Find someone to connect with and talk to. Your life is worth living, you may not believe it yourself, but that’s where you need to start – believing in yourself. Believe you are special in your own little way, because you are. You may not know it yet, but you can get through it. You will survive; be strong and fight back. If you don’t know how, well,…

That’s what martial arts is for.

Don’t be what makes a victim a victim of bullying anymore.


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Let’s End Bullying Together!







Colleen Burns

EMAIL: colleenburns@yourlifemattersempowerment.org

SKYPE: colleen.burns62

PS: To hear my full story, please click here: Martial Arts Saved Me

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6 thoughts on “What Makes A Victim A Victim of Bullying?

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